Tedward Culling hates everything, but particularly: geometry (the one class keeping him from graduating), Genicelle Eaglin (the high school girl with an obsessive crush on him), and Jesper (his homicidal older brother who also happens to be the world's top assassin). With Jesper now in town and on the prowl, Tedward is asked by the vampire elite to create an army of day-walking vampires called Sparklers in exchange for a passing grade in geometry. Can Tedward finally stand up to his older brother and save the town?